Romans 15:2 (TLB)
Listening is probably the most important skill in building friendships and relationships. You can’t love people without listening to them.
But sometimes people run into trouble in their relationships when they think hearing and listening are the same thing. The truth is that there’s a big difference between hearing someone and listening to them.
You can hear something and not really be listening. I can’t tell you how many arguments I’ve had with my kids or my wife because I was hearing the words but not really listening to the emotions. Sometimes the words don’t even matter. Someone can say to you, “I’m fine,” but the way they say it tells you that they’re not fine. Listening means you also hear what the person isn’t saying.
When you listen that way, you’re showing empathy. Empathy means to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and learn their point of view. You ask yourself, “How would I feel if I were in that situation?”
Listening with empathy means you listen without interruption and you listen for what’s not being said—the feelings and fears behind the words. And you don’t need to try to fix the situation. In fact, sometimes healing comes just from someone listening!
Romans 15:2 says, “We must bear the ‘burden’ of being considerate of the doubts and fears of others” (TLB).
What does it mean to be considerate or to bear the burden of someone else’s doubts? It means that, when people are in so much pain that they don’t even know what they believe, they need the devotion of a loyal friend. They need someone who will be present and listen with empathy.
Will you be that friend today?
Listening is probably the most important skill in building friendships and relationships. You can’t love people without listening to them.
But sometimes people run into trouble in their relationships when they think hearing and listening are the same thing. The truth is that there’s a big difference between hearing someone and listening to them.
You can hear something and not really be listening. I can’t tell you how many arguments I’ve had with my kids or my wife because I was hearing the words but not really listening to the emotions. Sometimes the words don’t even matter. Someone can say to you, “I’m fine,” but the way they say it tells you that they’re not fine. Listening means you also hear what the person isn’t saying.
When you listen that way, you’re showing empathy. Empathy means to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and learn their point of view. You ask yourself, “How would I feel if I were in that situation?”
Listening with empathy means you listen without interruption and you listen for what’s not being said—the feelings and fears behind the words. And you don’t need to try to fix the situation. In fact, sometimes healing comes just from someone listening!
Romans 15:2 says, “We must bear the ‘burden’ of being considerate of the doubts and fears of others” (TLB).
What does it mean to be considerate or to bear the burden of someone else’s doubts? It means that, when people are in so much pain that they don’t even know what they believe, they need the devotion of a loyal friend. They need someone who will be present and listen with empathy.
Will you be that friend today?
Talk It Over
How can you show someone through your body language that you are really listening?
What is the benefit of asking, “How would I feel if I were in that situation?”
What are some ways you can limit interruptions and distractions when you are trying to listen to someone?
How can you show someone through your body language that you are really listening?
What is the benefit of asking, “How would I feel if I were in that situation?”
What are some ways you can limit interruptions and distractions when you are trying to listen to someone?
- by Pastor Rick
**************************
Prayer:
Father,
In the noise of daily life, we come before You seeking the gift of an open heart. Quiet the chatter within us, and open the gates of our soul to truly listen to those who cross our path. Grant us the serenity to set aside judgment and preconceptions, so we may be fully present. Help us to hear the words, the emotions, and the unspoken needs of others, and to respond with compassion and empathy.
Let our friendship be a sanctuary where people feel safe to share their stories. Thank You for the opportunity to connect deeply through listening. Help us to be better at it. In Jesus' Name we pray. Amen
Let our friendship be a sanctuary where people feel safe to share their stories. Thank You for the opportunity to connect deeply through listening. Help us to be better at it. In Jesus' Name we pray. Amen
