Sharing "Journey to the Cross" by Paul David Tripp.
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It is impossible to excuse, deny, or minimize your sin without telling yourself that you do not need the grace of Christ Jesus.
Bill and Jenny had hit the wall again. A misunderstanding had devolved into a nasty, name-calling, trust-shattering fight. The air in their house was thick with tension, and the awkward silence between them was suffocating. It had been three days since the horrible fight, but there had been no rapprochement between them. Bill spent much of those three days telling himself that Jenny was the problem, and that all he was doing was defending himself against her attack. Jenny told herself that she was the victim of an emotionally abusive husband. They could not reconcile because they were unwilling to see their own sin, let alone to confess it to God or one another. Each denied their attitudes and actions, each excused his or her sin by pointing the finger of blame at one another, and both told themselves that what they did wasn’t so bad, given the circumstances.
It was a familiar scene for them, repeated again and again. There was never much true confession, but somehow they would move on without the wrongs against one another being addressed and then march to the next debilitating battle. But even more tragic than the toll on their marriage was their denial of their need for the rescuing, forgiving, and empowering grace of Jesus. In refusing to confess their sin, they told themselves that they did not need the grace of Jesus, purchased for them on the cross of Calvary. Because they did not own their sin and cry out to their Savior for his forgiveness and help, they did not grow in grace and love toward one another. Their marriage was stuck in a cycle of sin and hurt. Cynicism had replaced hope, self-defensiveness had replaced trust, and a repeated cycle of hurt hardened hearts that were once tender and loving.
It makes sense that you and I simply do not reach out for help that we do not think we need. We don’t long for what seems unnecessary. How is it possible to hold the cross as the epicenter of our formal theology while functionally denying our need for this radical sacrifice of love and grace? When you sin as a believer, your conscience will bother you. What you experience is the convicting grace of the Holy Spirit, and there are only four ways to respond to this gracious warning that you have done something wrong.
Let’s look at each response in light of what the cross requires us to see and admit about ourselves.
1. Excuse.
It’s hard to admit that you have done wrong, that it’s your responsibility alone. It is so easy to alleviate your guilt by pointing to someone or something else as the reason you did what you did. Here’s why blame-shifting seems so plausible and is so tempting. You live in a fallen world with broken things all around you, so there are many excuses to be found. You live with and near people who are less than perfect. They don’t always say and do the right things. They don’t always have good attitudes. They don’t always keep their promises. They are not always committed to your best interest. They are just like you, people in need of God’s rescuing grace.
You live with all kinds of systemic brokenness in your neighborhood, on the highways, at work, in government and education, at the stores where you shop, and the list could go on and on. In case you hadn’t noticed, this is not paradise, and the world doesn’t function the way paradise will someday function. Yet in all of this, God meets you with his heart and life-changing, empowering grace. It really is possible to do what is right in a world that has gone wrong. This life of right begins with recognizing your need for God’s grace, and that begins with a commitment to not deny your need for God’s grace by searching for excuses for the wrong that you have done.
2. Deny.
It is also tempting to rewrite the history of a certain situation to make yourself look way more righteous than you actually were. This may sound needlessly repetitive, but it is worth thinking about: the ultimate denial of sin is denial. Saying that it never happened makes you hopelessly unapproachable, resistant to the thought that you need to change, and self-congratulatory when you should feel guilty. It leaves you without any neediness for God’s forgiving, restoring, and enabling grace. Denial never goes anywhere good; it is never good for your heart, it never deepens your relationship to God, and it never produces good in your relationships.
3. Minimize.
One of the most tempting ways of escaping responsibility for your sin is not to excuse it or deny it, but to minimize it. Wrong becomes more palatable to your heart when you are able to minimize its size, importance, or impact. When you are able to make your sin look something less than a conscious moral rebellion against God or a willingness to wrong your neighbor for your own good, it doesn’t then feel so wrong to you. If you can make your sin look to you something less than sin, then you don’t need the grace that God offers sinners. You simply cannot minimize your sin without, at the same time, devaluing God’s amazing grace.
4. Confess.
In the face of having done what is wrong in the eyes of God, this is the only option that the cross of Jesus Christ leaves open. If sin is excusable, deniable, and not really a big deal, then the cross of Jesus Christ is not necessary. Confession always recognizes the inescapable sinfulness of sin. Sin cannot be excused, it cannot be denied, and it is not honest to diminish its significance, so it must be owned and confessed to one who has the power not only to forgive, but also to deliver us from its hold on our hearts.
What is confession? Confession is admitting personal responsibility for your words and actions, without excuse of any kind or shifting the blame to anyone else. Confession is a welcome into a deeper appreciation of the presence, promises, and grace of God. It is a welcome to more humble, honest, approachable, and loving relationships with others. It is a welcome to no longer being afraid of knowing yourself or being known, because you know that nothing will ever be known or revealed about you that hasn’t already been covered by the blood of Jesus. Confession is an invitation to a life of internal rest and external peace.
So this season, as you reflect on the sacrifice of Christ on your behalf, and as the Spirit begins to reveal your heart and conviction sets in, don’t defend yourself with excuses, denial, or minimizing, and in so doing run from the grace of your Savior. Run to him, owning what you have done as you rest in the grace he offers to all who come to him in this way. “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, / but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy” (Proverbs 28:13).
GOING DEEPER
Reflection Questions
1. You probably would give verbal assent to the idea that you need God. But do your actions, your attitudes, and your prayer life support that?
2. How do you usually respond when you are confronted with your sin—excuse, deny, minimize, or confess? What factors contribute to how you respond at different times?
3. What have you noticed are the effects of each of these responses: excuse, deny, minimize, confession?
Read Psalm 62:5–8, humbling yourself in prayer before the Lord.
Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me. O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.
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